Let’s talk about sex … and respect

Back in 2017 I delivered to the Under 16s group at Derby County about social media and sexual communication. It was something I was nervous about as it’s such a sensitive subject but the problems that come up with sexual online communication are so common, so divisive and so life changing for all involved that I decided it was a conversation that needed to be had with young footballers.

I was delivering those sessions from the point of view of the firefighter*. Someone who has worked alongside and supported players who have got it wrong or been targeted: being blackmailed, exposed, shamed or otherwise damaged their own lives or the lives of others.

What I was missing back then was the lived experience of Leigh Nicol who can talk from a female perspective and speak so powerfully as a victim and now a survivor of intimate image abuse; and also the experiences of Fraser Franks who has been in those dressing rooms full of toxic masculinity and has called it out.

It was a feeling of immense pride therefore I have that the three of us at B5 Consultancy are delivering sessions to groups of young men about relationships, porn culture, respect and trying to get them to stop, think and not take the kind of risks that could seriously damage their lives and those around them.

Today we were welcomed into an extremely forward thinking Championship club to work with their scholars and the session was life affirming. I’d like to thank another forward-thinking club — Derby County — and particularly Simon Ord — for trusting me to deliver that first session back in 2017. I’m so proud to stand alongside Fraser and Leigh and deliver these sessions which come from each of our individual experiences.

I hope we can make a difference and encourage more sensible, safe and respectful behaviours going forwards.

Finally, it was lovely to notice lads in that Derby under 16 group who have gone on to be first teamers, notably Louie Sibley and Eiran Cashin, and to be presented and produced by Sam Bailey who has gone on to do some amazing work with top players Roc Nation.

*I’m not an actual firefighter